Building A Life Together

I never thought I would get married. I never thought I would be looking to buy a house with someone. Yet, here I am doing both. It feels incredible, wonderful, and a bit scary, mostly on the buying-a-house part due to age rather than anything else.

Falling in love and getting hitched was never in my thoughts because of my lifestyle, mostly nomadic. People come and go in my life. They don’t stick around. Part of it is living overseas. Part of it is just my nature. It is something I accepted as part of my path until it changed a few years ago.

I met the love of my life – the one who changed me. The one who shaped how I would love many years ago. It began with a clear end – he would move to the United States at some point. We would enjoy our time together and see things, but there would be an unknown end date. In the early years of that relationship, we talked about being together forever, but there would be awkward pauses, so we dropped the topic and enjoyed our time. It ended as expected, and I was hurt. I fell for another, but quickly saw that the future there wasn't going to happen because of timing.

Then I met him with no expectations, no hopes for the future, only to enjoy being with him. We saw each other a lot, then more. We travelled and learned more about each other. There was safety and security as we grew together. It was love, and I felt it for a while, but this feeling or fear – “he will leave me” was still there even though there were no signs or anything, but the thought was there.

He came home with me last year to meet my mom and see my childhood home. He saw the place where I grew the most – Korea, where I spent 7 years. In return, I got to know him more and liked what I saw and what I learned. We grew together and began seeing how lucky I am to have him in my life, and we wanted to build a future together.

The thought has always been there. The talks have always been there. Until we talked last night. He moved in fully near the beginning of the year and has enjoyed it a lot. We have been looking for apartments to build, which is a huge step. Then I turned to him, and we talked, never sure how to 'do it right.' So I asked, “Do you wanna?” and he said, “Sure.” We were joking, but we weren’t. I am lucky beyond words and looking forward to many, many years ahead.